When 2 Became 1: Adapting to Solo Female Travel

There’s not really much worse than a break up.

Apart from a break up that leaves you stranded on a farm in Australia, living in a purpose-built cabin half a world away from everyone who knows and loves you most. This is where I found myself last year. I had no plans but I did have some spare cash and I needed to escape - sharpish. So I turned to travel, the only thing that I could imagine making me even a teeny bit happy.

Was I sure that travel was the right thing to turn to? No. But I’d spent six deliriously happy, sun-soaked months adventuring in Southeast Asia the year before and it felt like the closest thing to home. I found myself on a flight to Bali just over a week later. I spent the six-hour flight staring into the back of the seat in front of me, my eyes red and puffy from the hysterical call with my mum before boarding. I didn’t understand why I was on that plane alone. Where was my travel buddy I’d been so used to having? Now I look back on that flight I can’t help but laugh, but that’s what the old cliché is all about: time really is the greatest healer, you just have to let it do its magic.

BALI: My Happy Place

Talking of clichés: Bali is by far the most healing place I’ve ever travelled in and it’s the perfect place for a clouded mind to detox.

So off I went, only to find out that doing it solo is a completely different ball game.

The first thing that struck me was I had to speak to people. Turns out you can’t just rock up at a hostel and expect the people to flock to you, you’ve got to put yourself out there. At first, the thought of this horrified me; I spent my first night eating alone next to a guy who prayed to his food before eating it. I began to wonder if anyone would ever speak to me again and if I should also be worshipping my bowl of green curry … safe to say it was a weird night.

Now that I’ve adapted to travelling alone I’ve had some of the funniest, most memorable experiences since I left home in 2015. I’ve met friends who’ve known me for years who are amazed at how good I am at talking to new people (which is weird because I still don’t feel very good at it). Ten-hour train journeys no longer faze me; I drive my own moped and I make every decision for myself. I’m travelling how I was always supposed to: independently, happily and freely.

Of course I still have moments when it feels scary, uncomfortable and totally unnatural to strike up a conversation with a stranger but each time I do I’m still surprised at how easy it is to make lifelong friends within a matter of hours.

Of course there are moments when I miss experiencing every step with my best friend, having someone to watch my bag for me or haggle when I don’t feel like it. Those moments are forgotten on days when I can scoot off to my favourite beach, rent a board and sip on a fresh coconut while watching the sunset without a care in the world.

Of course there are times when I feel lonely, but those moments become less and less frequent, and even when they do swing by they’re less and less painful. Have you heard people say that when you’re on the road you’re never really alone… well that’s a real thing: during the last two 

month trip I took around Indonesia I spent a total of about ten days alone.

Of course there are times when solo travel can be really scary, lonely and intense. In those situations I take a look around me, take three deep breaths and realise that everyone else is in the same boat (and they probably just want to make friends with you, too). Whether I’ve just been smashed by a massive wave, in a really bad mood or tumbling down a volcano, I always seem to befriend people when I least expect to. These friendships are stronger than any I made while travelling as a duo and I think that’s the deal breaker for me: it makes the lows that can accompany solo travel totally worth riding out, as you never know who’s around the next corner. 

I consider myself lucky to have travelled both with and without a partner. I’ve experienced the ease that comes with travelling in a pair and I’m learning lessons from the challenges that solo travel throws at me on a daily basis. I'm sure I've got more coming my way - watch this space!